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“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything, live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distance day into the answer”, Rainer Maria Rilke.

I wanted to touch on why we go into shock when a love one passes on. Your brain goes into overdrive like packman trying desperately to find away to change the outcome. We are control freaks. We naturally want to find the remote to push rewind and change the outcome. Or hit a delete button. When our brain finally has tried every direction with no outcome, it gives up and we face the reality.  Then our grief process begins.

It is so hard to discover we are not in control.

Learning to trust the process of life and to have faith that nothing ever dies only transforms has many gifts.

I know how difficult this can be. Especially when we feel guilt. Even though in actuality we did the best we could.  Yes you did the best you could do!!!

We all have things we wish we would have done, the should of , could of.  The things unsaid.  However that is because we are looking backwards, we did the best we could.

Your loved ones love you and want you to be happy. Just like if you passed on and they were alive you would want them to be happy.

Did you know that that they discovered that when the brain has an experience the neuron transformers lights up. They also discovered that if you closed your eyes and imagined an event that the brain lights up. Proving that your mind does not know the difference between real and imagined.

The reason I share this with you is:  if you close your eyes and imagine your life returning to peace and wellbeing your mind will make neuron transformers which will help you gain peace and wellbeing. Be specific; see how you would like your life to heal.

It takes a commitment to move forward.  You are more resistant than you realize.

There is nothing that happens to you that you cannot overcome, and when you trust this you will tap into your personal power.

I am certainly not undermining your need to grieve. Only offering help.

I send you love, Coach Louise Rouse

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9/11 Healing GRIEF

Today is the four year anniversary for my son Hudson. Four years since I have seen him, heard his laugh.

I sat on a hard old rock and cried by the Applegate River, tears of pure love.  Upon my return back home I was greeted with so many wonderful messages on his Facebook Group page which my daughter created. Example

Griffin Loop posted in Hudson J Thomas – Remember the Legend.
Hudson, As I reflect this day my understanding of who you are has grown. Several emotions are present and strong. Admiration. Your impact. The strength you put into others. The ambitions you spark. The courage to stand up for what you believe in. The love to help those around you. Leadership. LIFE. charge. SMILE. I am forever grateful for the ongoing journey and teachings you share with me. Thank You for watching over us all and blessings to your family. I will see you on the water bright and early my friend.
-Griffin

I encourage all of you to make one of these pages, it allows all of their friends and relatives a place to share. Plus I can’t even begin to put in to words how much it met to me to read all the messages I received today or whenever someone just had a dream, or a thought.

9/11A Celebration of Personal Heroes

I was invited to write a story for a new free eBook:

The Gratitude Book Project:  A Celebration of Personal Heroes

It’s a time of remembrance—and of celebrating strength. 

As across the United States and world we commemorate the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11, 2001, it’s time to celebrate the strong. I’m proud to announce that I’m a co-author of a special project celebrating personal heroes from The Gratitude Book Project.

Even though the characteristics of a hero may be different from one person to another, the underlying theme of heroism is uniform throughout in the sense that they are all admired.  Heroes define our aspirations and expand the perceived limitations we have of ourselves.  They remind us of who we want to be and how we’re going to get there.

Maybe you consider your father a hero or maybe you feel the hero within yourself.  Maybe your hero is a firefighter or a Navy Seal.  Regardless of who your hero is, they are all defined by the same characteristics and celebrated in The Gratitude Book Project: A Celebration of Personal Heroes.

With so many inspiring stories of gratitude to our heroes, The Gratitude Book Project: A Celebration of Personal Heroes is sure to warm your heart with love and appreciation for those who we admire.  Pick up your free copy at http://TheGratitudeBookProject.com

Power of Prayer

I am joining in these two prayer groups tomorrow, and invite you to join as well.

http://www.intentionexperiment911.com/

11/11 PAYER CIRCLE TOMORROW: 
If you haven’t already registered you might consider joining the 10,000 already registered for our monthly 11/11 Prayer Circle. 

———————————————————————————————————————————————
This is the 9th circle in this program, and if you can’t join us for the live call Sunday, 11 AM California Time it will be recorded so you can listen later. The energy of the prayer is captured in that moment and will also be available to you on the replay.
==> http://www.mcleanmasterworks.com/1111PrayerCircle We are leveraging the energies of these circles and the remarkable energies available on these monthly portals of these 11 days each month of this 2011th year to project intentions for each of us and the planet. Using the power of the group energy, we will create an even stronger wave available to all who participate. We are, from this perspective, also creating an energy wave for all on the planet. 

On Sunday’s call, we will ALSO be focusing prayers in remembrance of 9/11/01 and on parts of the world that need our assistance – so if you want to make a difference let’s play with the energy of peace for each of us as individuals and for the nations that are struggling with this. 

This circle will also assist you in seeing the light and joy in your lives. We will focus continually on what is right and good in all situations. By making this part of your daily practice, by the end of the program, you will do this naturally. And in return, raise your vibration.

Also you can listen to a replay of James Van Praagh  for the next 48 hours at this link

http://www.healingwiththemasters.com/audio-replays/#.TmxXHK6ZKgQ

On my website http://www.americasgriefcoach.com there are free audios on The Conscious Way Toward Healing Grief just for you.

For those of you who are ready to move forward and help others in loss check out my new program. This week I will be graduating my first students and they are excited.

www.planetarycoach.com

Once again thank you , With warm regards, and a million hugs, Coach Louise Rouse

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Journal For Grief Relief

Message from Coach Louise

“Did you know that the word “compassion” comes from Latin roots of “to sympathize” combined with “to suffer”  and means “sympathetic  concern for the suffering of another together with the inclination to give aid or support to another or to show mercy”.

As the Dalai Lama was fond of saying, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

So what does compassion have to do with being happy?  Everything!

When you see your life through the lens of compassion, your thoughts, beliefs, words and actions alter dramatically.  Instead of immediately judging others, you will find yourself looking past the their behavior and viewing the person and situation through compassion.” Auriella

May we have compassion for ourselves as well.

Keeping a Journal is very healing. It is a way for us to process all our feelings. I am going to expose myself here through sharing this page below . It is taken from my journal which I wrote in my mourning year.

Jesus said you should be childlike.  Well, I’d like to expand on that.  I have grandchildren and if you watch a child, they scream when they are hurt; they cry when they are sad; they yell when they are mad.  You can watch them explore for hours to figure out how things work.  There is the endless questions asking why? why? why?  Because they are constantly seeking answers.  They say what they mean, which usually makes me smile because of their innocence.  They tell the truth, sometimes more than I want to know.  And, yes, they are what we think we should all be.  Joyful.  The beauty for me in exploring my grandchildren and being childlike right along with them is that it’s okay for me to scream, yell, cry, be mad and ask why? why? why?  I don’t have to be joyful every moment every day.  Children live in the past, in the present and in the future, all in the same moment.  That is being here now, what I call being real.  Quantum physics, the hologram, all show the totality of all that we are and who we are.  We carry the Past.  We live in the Now.  We dream of the Future.  It is a good thing.  They are all Now.  I’m suddenly feeling defensive about this.  Grief has made me re-look at this popular idea of living in the Now.  If I were to give up my memories of my son and only live in the moment, this would be painful for me.  If I didn’t feel that I would see him in the future, this would be devastating to me.  There is a healthy now and there is an unhealthy now, just like everything in life.  If I’m dwelling on the negative – past present or future—it’s obviously unhealthy.  But if I’m having a child moment of being sad or mad then it is Ok I am being real.

We do indeed work out our emotions through writing. It helps.

Holidays bring all our emotions to the surface. Here is something I did which really helped.

I wrote my son three letters. The first one I wrote everything I was sorry for. The second letter I wrote all the things I was thankful for in knowing him, all the wonderful things about him. The third letter I wrote all the many things I learned from knowing him. Then I wrapped all three letters up like a beautiful present. Bow and all.

On his birthday, I take  my present and place it on the kitchen table. I light a candle sing him a song, and say Happy Birthday.  To ignore our loved ones on holidays is impossible, they are in our hearts, mind and soul. Ignoring makes us sad, or in a bad mood. Finding ways to honor our loved ones and allowing their spirt to be part of the occasion, makes a difference.

With love and compassion Coach Louise www.americasgriefcoach.com

Ready to move forward, and help others, join  www.planetarycoach.org Many are in fear about the future, or suffering loss from jobs, homes, and relationships. Take your pain and turn it around to serving others. Become a Planetary Coach

www.onlinegriefsupport.com is a site hosted by Coach Louise and Coach Diana

Message from Coach  Diana

Do you have unfinished business?

In my walk with grief I realized I was tormented by all the things I didn’t get a chance to say or do.  I had unresolved feelings and emotions.  I had unfinished business.

How do you resolve unfinished business?

For me, resolution came by journaling my feelings.  I had lots of feelings – regret and guilt were the major players.   By journaling I was able to release the regret and what if’s.

I’d like to encourage you to journal about your unfinished business.  To uncover unfinished business ask yourself these questions:

  • Do I need forgiveness from my loved one?
  • Do I need to forgive my loved one?
  • Do I have unrealized hopes and dreams that involve my loved one?
  • Do I have expectations that were not met?
  • Was there something I needed to say and missed the opportunity?
  • Do I need to apologize for something I did?

Unresolved issues can be stumbling blocks on our grief journey.  My hope is that you will identify unfinished business and release it through your writings or spoken words.

In my own grief recovery, I wanted to move forward but I had one foot on the brakes.   Journaling helped me to clear unfinished business, lessen my pain and helped me to move forward.

Diana Young, RD, LD/N, CDE

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